Lazy…

and not at all proud of it. Somehow I get this immense mental block against doing something, as if taking clothes to the laundry involves doing my engineering again or something similarly impossible. I have no clue how I came out of that engineering college in the first place. Maybe they bribed those examiners to get me out.

Another thing is that I tout some character traits as being my intrinsic part. This mindless repetition has ingrained those harmful traits in me. Like being lazy for one. I justify that one by saying librans are lazy, or that smart people find easier ways or that I am like that only and so on. Totally untrue. So I need to watch what I feel my mind. More and more closely if you may. Not that I don’t do this. Strictly no newspaper for gathering information. They put in too many depressing and negative pieces in there for my taste. Me, I am an optimist any given time of the day. I wish I could share you my “balls of steel” experience here. So be it.

So, back to the main line of thinking. I need to be more energetic. The only way to do it is to tell that to myself so many times that ultimately I know I AM energetic. Keep telling I am, energetic. I am full of energy and vitality. On and on. Continuously. That is one trait I have. Like a bulldog. Don’t think. Don’t get tired. Keep going at it, again and again. That was how I upped my scoring from 56% and a KT to 74% and university topper. In a year. Just two semesters. I used to skip my lunch and even having water the whole day. Just study.

I have moved on now. I have become complacent. Lethargic. LAZY. Too much food and too few challenges or shocks. Dad once said to me, I will not learn unless I will get a shock in life. I needed three. To change. I changed good but. I cant wait for shocks now. I may not come back to the leadership position I covet. I need to imagine those shocks. I need to feel deprived of my rightful place. Easy enough. I am off to write it out now.

Did not exercise in last few days. Bad enough. I will be back on it tomorrow onwards. Or now.

Addendum: Now it is.. Push ups 25+15. crunches 0.

Take care.