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I am totally caught up in the day-to-day work to complete the ideation activity I was longing to do at the year end. I guess tomorrow would be the day after all. It sucks when you have to come to work on holidays, and my productivity is on a decline since long.
Till now, my resolutions are: no booze, and no non veg but fish.
I am feeling bored in the current job, in just 8 months. I feel a major factor for that is the time. I spend 4 hours a day just travelling, and I simply cant do stuff during travelling but to put in the earphones and listen to whatever. I tried listening to audio book, but if u drift even slightly while listening, the book is done for. I cant read anything, I cant practice anything. Hell, I can barely breathe in such a crowd.
Mumbai, in many ways is a suffocating city. Be it the hot n humid atmosphere, or its speed of life. For me, the main irritant is the traffic. There is just too much crowd in mumbai. Overflowing from every open door. After some days, it gets to you.
In the last two months,I have broken every long standing health rule I had imposed on myself. One tends to rebound after a few unsuccessful efforts to inculcate a habit I guess.
The task in this year is cut out. Get healthy, get going.
This is where I need to start. Again. It begins today.
Wish me luck this time.
Take care…
I am one of those who remember even the smallest mistakes they have made. And berate oneself repeatedly over it. I cannot stand making a mistake. Mind you, if I don’t know something and try to do it, I am okay if it goes wrong. One the other hand, if I had done it beforehand, even once, then anything wrong becomes unforgivable. Once is enough for learning how to to it.
I am sure some think this is pretty extreme self regulation, but it has also helped me be alert and learn much more than I would have had I let myself loose. By natuSre, I tend to be someone who always finds path of least effort for a process. I heavily belienve and practice automating and delegating the chores. Simplify, reduce, eliminate, contain, alter, exclude, tweak… these are the actions I am always thinking about. Its more of going with the flow than putting my power in forcing the flow to divert. Kind of zen i guess. Use the natural flow of energy but direct it using the slightest efforts. Your mind can save you lot of efforts down the line… Plan properly, to the T, and then improvise as you go along. I am that kind of person.
I am wrong about mistakes.
Now that I am three months into my first job, I have realized the priorities are different. What I think is important may not be relevant for the client who seeks it. Do I then, spend considerable more time on it, just to get it right? or should I just do a shoddy but passable work, which is not to be seen by anyone in any case?
No, I am not a proponant of ‘chalta hai’ or ‘good enough’ attitude. I prefer to do the things once, and closer to perfection, and a shoddy job would really irk me. The question is of balance of investment of energy, efforts and time versus the rewards, utilization, benefit.
Right now, I am in a confused state, seeking the balance between both the perfectionist and ‘good enough’ views.
Take care…
what is more important in life?
This was the question raised by someone whose friend is addicted to books and is totally in the book Fountainhead right now. Of course this question could only be raised by someone who is yet to experience the ‘zone’ if I can call it. That feeling when time does not exist, neither does the world. I have been in the zone for as long as 10-12 hours at a stretch, not even eating or drinking, just so that I could read the next page, the next line, the next action… the next idea.Its a high unlike any other.
What books are, is the main point of contention. Are they not the minds of the people who have written them? So when we read a book, its as if the person has come through to us, through time, space and culture. Just to share what he/she/they feel about something. Its exactly like hearing a speaker narrate his thrilling tale of adventure, or a philosopher sharing his years of thinking by distilling it in just a few hours.
What better thing could it be then , to choose whose thinking you want to hear? When we meet people, they are limited. Limited by the world that they see, experiences that are mostly manufactured be media and sold to them over various channels of communications. You hear opinions sculpted by spin doctors. In contrast, you can just grab a book by newton, aristotle, socrates, plato… and have a day out in a different culture. You can also pick a book like the great gatsby, or ana carenina, or war and peace and get the feel of the national culture, not of the 2000 but of much older. You get the choice, to go across all the boundaries, and hear the thoughts.
You get the choice to pace it to your speed of thinking too. If at all one gets a chance to meet some one in flesh, the time is of essence, and it runs out. Once, though, the ideas are written, they are immortalized. Their worth is really tested in the currents of time.
I presume we do need people, to stay in touch with reality, to maintain our sanity. We need books to grow, to feel the ‘zone’, to learn. Books have become a inseparable part of me. So have some of the people who leave their thought print.
Its not books or people.
Books, in their essence, are people.
Take care…
or what makes an embryo human??
The Mumbai High court denied an abortion to a woman, whose embryo was detected with a heart condition. I have my own personal observations to share about this.
My younger sister would tern 17 tomorrow. Even if I write “many happy returns of the day” she cant read it. She cant read anything for that matter, or see a movie or the rainbow. She is blind, congenitally. She is also autistic. Some part of her brain refused to develop, along with the rest of it. The eyes never got developed. She cant speak. And yet, she is intelligent enough. She can very well emote, and identify people and enjoy life as she sees it.
It confuses me to no end. What exactly is a human being? I am sure philosophers are dusting off their books in anticipation of a new virgin entering in their hunting grounds, but I dont want all those brainy answers. My questions are different. For example, does she have a voting right? what if he has no clue of what is democracy and why she is pressing the button, will she still vote?
I am confused.
On an unrelated note, I had to climb up 12 stories to reach my office. Of the 3 lifts in the wing, one is under repair, one is broken, and almost all of the employees of the myriad offices turn up in the same narrow window of time. The queue stretches to infinity. So I took the stairs. And immediately noticed the difference in me. The tiredness has come down drastically. The thigh muscles are still under worked, but the respiratory system has become efficient enough. Till the 9th floor, I was not even breathing heavily. Last time when I climbed up, I was panting since the 4-5th. I like my breathing exercises. Whats more, they are simple, take around 5-10 minutes… AND ARE FREEEEEEEE!!!!! I guess raw food is helping the cause too..
I am planning to buy a cordless headphone set for my sister tomorrow. She enjoys music a lot.
Take care…
feeling tired.
Okay! I am only half kidding. I am feeling very tired since the last week. The quality of my sleep has been shot and that I guess is showing finally. Add the month end load factor and it is a recipe for a disastrous mistake in work. Or worse, in some relationship.
I have already started my Nth back to good health program. Pranayam ( more of the pre pranayam or shuddhikriya…. means cleansing breathing practices) 3-4 asanas ( positions ) regularly in the morning. Also, I have just shifted to eating banana smoothie and raw food in place of dinner. The next step is to cut down on all the gallons of coffee I have been drinking while hanging out with friends in this or that coffee shop. The cups of tea in the office are killing my digestive system too, guess too much of powdered milk will make me feel acidic in stomach.
Next target for me is a drastic one. I am going out on a 3 days 2 nights trek with my local friends. I need to get in shape for that. Guess I really need to push my body in the remaining two weeks to get in some semblance of shape at least. I guess I would focus on push ups for the next three days. Waking up early enough and for that matter sleeping on time must be my priority.
After Wednesday, I have hopefully woken up early for all the three days. Then comes the going out in the morning for a morning walk part. By Friday,I must be jogging. I am so totally out of walking and jogging part that I am getting friction burns due to all the sweat while I walk. I am not aware of any solution till now, which would get rid of all the extra fat that has found place in my thighs. Specially when I am strictly opposed to following any crash fad diet.
Luckily I learnt a crucial thing during the last trek. Its more about mind than body. I am sure of myself that I can push my body to the limit easily, without any mental struggle sapping my energy. That was of great help to me that time, hope it comes to my rescue this time as well. Other wise I am toast with all the extra pounds of fat I am always carrying around on my tummy and thighs and what not places.
Another weekend over, another chance of relaxing and recovering and regaining strength lost. Learning from mistakes sometimes is just plain more difficult in some areas than others.
Take care…
what a coincidence!
Today I was to accompany my colleague for a meeting at 4 pm, which I did. We reached there on time and were waiting for the client. He did show up and apologized as he had a surprise visitor he had to entertain. So we took off, but somehow my colleague spotted a eatery and we ate a few things there.
After eating, we were too bored to walk to the train station which was few minutes away, so we decided to catch a cab and chose a station which was slightly away from where we were. It was so that the cab would be ready to come.
I came out of the cab, and started walking towards the station. I saw a friend, and we had not met in last few years at least. It was really a pleasant surprise,and I just could not believe at the number of events that had to occur so that we two could meet.
I believe in omens and such coelho stuff, not completely but enough to think about this as an omen or a signal. I am changing, and I have noticed that my universe is changing too. The people I used to bump into are changing, the friends with whom I used to meet up are changing,and it is helping me get what I am craving for.
I have had this sort of experience before as well. If you truly wish to achieve something or get something, the universe helps you in unexpected ways. Just one caveat though, say yes to the offers made to you. say yes when someone asks you to hang out, say yes for a trip you would normally say no to, say yes, and the universe will work its magic for you.
Take care…
gone by already, and I have made no long lasting change in the life.
Sure, I have prepared great plans, read through many self help books and read them again, drew up lists and visualised and chanted, and did all the tricks they tell us. It hardly made a difference.
Now I realize that there is no feedback mechanism. Either I was too strong on myself, or too lenient. Both approaches end up in disaster.
To make the changes that stick longer, i need to use the method I used quite successfully in engineering days.choose one habit, and convince myself that if I don’t do this, I will die. Not a physical death, but a social one, or mental one or emotional one. I have found that it is the only way to create leverage for me which actually works. I must put myself under so tremendous a stress, that I start getting sleepless nights and stomach trouble. For some days. Then, habit is internalized. Stress can be taken away, and then miracle happens. I change the habit in such a way as to perfectly fit my personality.
Now is the time to start just that. Create enough leverage. Switch off the brain, that will stop the excuses. Become automaton for that part of the day or month or life.
And so as to justify my absence from wordpress for so many days, I was busy having a life.
Take care…
I think it’s in the name. “SUNDAY’. I feel lazy just by hearing that word. Sleep late, wake up later, don’t do anything worthwhile basically just waste these precious free hours which I get out of the week’s busy schedule and work. Then evening comes, and I feel guilty about all the waste. Never missed this routine for many sundays now.
Simple solution is to have targets for the day. Just do this and do that, rest is free for you to waste! This will work for me definitely. As long as this and that does not involve investing too much time. Sunday is all about having time for me, time to hang out with the friends I grew up with, friends i critisize, friends I will not be able to ever live without ( okay, thats way too much) but still, I have had and continue having massive fun with them.
I watched “Forest Gump” just yesterday. I am shocked. Shocked that I had this movie with me all this time, and I just didn’t see it. Made a great impact on me. It told me :
- Listen to your momma, but interpret in your own way.
- Find and keep great friends, specially friends who are thinking different.
- Siting will not solve any problem, you have to run for it.
- Fall in love, stay in love.
- Try new things. Buy a boat if your friend comes up with a great business plan!
- Think simple.Stay simple.
- A great pair of shoes is one of the best gift.
- To get back the one you love, you have to let him/her go first.
- Respect choices made by other people.
- ” If god wanted to make everyone equal, everyone would have got braces”. Feel sorry for others who lack those gifts you have. So go and help them.
- Say yes, especially for giving a speech, to a large audience. you might find the one you are looking for.
- Feel proud of you kid. Specially if he is not like you.
- Whenever you make your own decision, people will follow you.
- Do what you like. Make a run for it.
- Whenever you are tired of whatever you are doing, get back home for rest.
- Stupid is as stupid does.
I am sure there are many learnings I have not realized yet, but these are enough to last me for several lifetimes, or several marathons….
BTW, that first paragraph was basically to say that I did not exercise today. Just had dinner as well, so no more opportunity. Tomorrow is another day they say….
Take care.
The two most critical questions to be asked to oneself are:
- What do you want in life?
- What are you ready to give, in order to get it?
Rest is just detail.
They say, life will give you anything you ask for, but not everything. We are limited by the most rarest commodity on the face of this planet. Time. It is highly perishable, non tradable, often undervalued, purely imaginary entity. Everyone is allocated good measures for it, but everyone asks different value in exchange for his/her time. Mostly, they receive nothing different. In this case then, how to get the maximum value of your time?
Have you heard about the magical power of compounding. You invest as much as you can, as early as you can. Then you wait. The money multiplies itself. Funny observations about this include following:
- If you reduce the initial amount by a little, the final amount varies exponentially
- If you change the investment period by little, the final amount varies drastically.
- If you change the rate of compounding a little, the final amount is changed vastly.
Now, let us compare the amount with time,and the rate with learning. We understand what to do.
The goal is the final amount that we want. We can calculate backwards, to understand how much time is needed to be invested in order to achieve the goal. And how much learning or refining is needed too.
That’s not all. We also need to take inflation into account. Thats when we cannot focus our complete attention. the concentration is diffused. Hence, although we are giving one hour, effectively only 40 minutes are counted.
Also to remember is the performance of the investment. If we see the graph of the amount against time, we see that almost all the benefits are reaped towards the end. Which means that, we should focus on a long term achievement, and need not pay much attention to the intermediate failures. Those are just fluctuations, great tools to refine our technique.
And then, finally, we win!!
Take care.
and not at all proud of it. Somehow I get this immense mental block against doing something, as if taking clothes to the laundry involves doing my engineering again or something similarly impossible. I have no clue how I came out of that engineering college in the first place. Maybe they bribed those examiners to get me out.
Another thing is that I tout some character traits as being my intrinsic part. This mindless repetition has ingrained those harmful traits in me. Like being lazy for one. I justify that one by saying librans are lazy, or that smart people find easier ways or that I am like that only and so on. Totally untrue. So I need to watch what I feel my mind. More and more closely if you may. Not that I don’t do this. Strictly no newspaper for gathering information. They put in too many depressing and negative pieces in there for my taste. Me, I am an optimist any given time of the day. I wish I could share you my “balls of steel” experience here. So be it.
So, back to the main line of thinking. I need to be more energetic. The only way to do it is to tell that to myself so many times that ultimately I know I AM energetic. Keep telling I am, energetic. I am full of energy and vitality. On and on. Continuously. That is one trait I have. Like a bulldog. Don’t think. Don’t get tired. Keep going at it, again and again. That was how I upped my scoring from 56% and a KT to 74% and university topper. In a year. Just two semesters. I used to skip my lunch and even having water the whole day. Just study.
I have moved on now. I have become complacent. Lethargic. LAZY. Too much food and too few challenges or shocks. Dad once said to me, I will not learn unless I will get a shock in life. I needed three. To change. I changed good but. I cant wait for shocks now. I may not come back to the leadership position I covet. I need to imagine those shocks. I need to feel deprived of my rightful place. Easy enough. I am off to write it out now.
Did not exercise in last few days. Bad enough. I will be back on it tomorrow onwards. Or now.
Addendum: Now it is.. Push ups 25+15. crunches 0.
Take care.
